


Burdens of Command

by FenHarelsPride (Andauril)



Series: Siryn Lavellan [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Solas dissaproves, Tranquility, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 01:17:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3709505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andauril/pseuds/FenHarelsPride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Siryn Lavellan has convicted Livius Erimond to tranquility, Solas and her have an argument ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burdens of Command

Red-tinted evening light fell through the windows of her room, coloring her hands while she quietly worked through the new bunch of correspondence, already tired and annoyed by the task. Being the Inquisitor came with a lot of paperwork, even though Josephine tried her best to keep the less important writing off from her …

Siryn opened another letter, frowned at the writing – someone apparently believed she was the one to turn to if some elven servants refused to work anymore for the small labor paid to them – and grabbed for her quill to write an answer. She had already written the first few words, when she heard the door to her chamber open.

Whoever had entered didn’t speak, but she could from the way he moved – smoothly, yet confident – who it was.

She turned half to greed him, but stopped when she noticed the tense momentum his steps.

She dropped the quill and rose from her chair, noticing as she turned around to face him the tenseness his jaw, the way he stared at her with eyes narrowed ever so slightly, the barely visibly furrow between his lowered brows.

“Something wrong?” she asked him, not able to banish the sting of worry from her voice.

“What did you do?”

The tone of his voice made her wince.

“Solas, I don’t know what …”

“Do not feign ignorance, Inquisitor.” She winced again, this time over his choice of words … He was furious at her, that much she could tell, and that he called her by her title rather than her name, rather _vhenan_ , spoke volumes of his anger. “You deliberately doomed a man to a fate worse than death.”

The judgement she had passed on a few hour earlier … She tensed, raising her chin to meet his gaze, even if the silent turmoil within his eyes made her twinge.

“Erimond deserved it. You were not there, you did not hear him – he wanted to die, begged for it even … because he thought it would somehow raise him to higher plane of existence. A punishment means nothing if it isn’t perceived as one.”

“You have turned him into an empty shell, bereft of all emotions, dreams, beliefs and desires. No one deserves such a fate, not even someone as twisted as Erimond.” He did not raise his voice, but his words stung nonetheless with a force that made her wince. “Such actions are only justified if there are no other options left to solve the task, and you had plenty of options.”

“Erimond was the one responsible for the demon army who had destroyed all of Thedas if we hadn’t stopped him in time!” she hissed, clenching her hands into fists at her side.

“You had no right to erase the very essence of his being. Do not mistake your authority as Inquisitor for the privilege to decide over the fate of those brought before you.”

Siryn wished he would just yell at her. The tranquil fury of his words – each of them a punch at her gut – was much worse, even more as it made her feel guilty.

“I don’t! I did what I had to do, Solas. I executed an example on him, and you know as well as I that he didn’t deserve mercy!”

“Alexius tried to erase you from existence entirely, a crime much more cruel and irreversible than those committed by Erimond.”

“He failed.”

“As did Erimond, yet you did not punish Alexius with tranquility.”

“Don’t you dare accusing me of applying double standards!” barked Siryn at him, her entire form shaking with anger. “I spared Alexius because he was once a decent man, because I thought he deserved a chance of redemption. Erimond was never without ulterior motives! There is a difference between a man desperate enough to turn to regrettable measures and a man who would see the world burn if it just bolstered his own power. Motives matter!”

It was the slightest of shifts in Solas’s posture, his shoulders remaining tense, his brow furrowed into an angry frown, but his body seemed less tense as it had just one moment before.

“It is nonetheless a fate no one is deserving of, regardless of the severity of his crimes.” His voice had not lost his cutting edge.

“Why is this so important to you, Solas?” she snapped at him, furious because he did not draw back, because he would not see her reasoning, because by doing so, he undermined her authority as the Inquisitor. “I did not make this decision lightly! I didn’t punish him for my own amusement. I … I don’t have to justify my decisions before you!” She almost yelled at him, her lithe form shaking with anger.

“That is correct”, he answered coolly, and the chilling tone of his voice made her shiver. “The blessed Herold of Andraste need not vindicate her actions before her subordinates.”

“Solas …”

“Until later, Inquisitor.”

She did nothing to make him stay, just stared at the door as it closed shut behind him. With a angered scream, she throw herself upon her bed, hitting the pillows hard with her bare fists until her shoulders hurt. She cursed through clenched teeth, still shaken by the argument, by the coldness in his tone of voice and his anger at her …

It shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t. Now she felt bad because she knew, somehow deep inside her, that he was right, that she shouldn’t have passed judgement on Erimond the way she had done … He deserved it, undeniably, but how could she call herself better than him if she stole away his identity with just a wave of her hand?

~ ~ ~

Solas applied fresh plaster upon one of the walls inside the rotunda when he heard silent steps enter. He recognized her immediately from the way she moved, nimble-footed and nearly without any sound, balls of her feet first.

He didn’t turn around to greet her, but remained well aware of her presence as he applied the rest of the plaster. He could hear her moving back and forth behind his back, almost felt the tenseness with which she moved and glanced at him.

“Solas, I … _ir abe –”_

“Stop.” He turned around, facing her. “It was ill-considered of me to question your decisions as the Inquisitor, _vhenan._ Do not let my personal feeling for the matter cloud your judgement.”

Her eyes widened. “I … expected … I don’t know ... more accusations and another argument?”

“It is as I said: You are the Inquisitor, a position in which you must make decisions that cannot please everyone. I might disagree, but it is not my place to criticize you.”

“Maybe, but a good leader listens to advice. I didn’t even ask you!” She stepped closer. “Solas, I … they’ll think of me as a monster. I’m a mage, and I condemned one of my own to tranquility. I would rather die than allow for anyone to strip me of myself, and yet I …”

“You are no monster, Siryn. You experienced the burdens of command, a burden not to be carried easily. Some might object, but it is the fate of all who hold considerable power.”

“You sound like you speak from experience …”

“It is something one inevitably comes to experience when one walks the Fade”, he answered with a truth meant to hide another.

He once had carried the same burden, and unlike her, he was henceforth viewed as a monster. It was why he was certain that history as well as legend would paint Siryn Lavellan in a much more positive light. She had not doomed an entire civilization to wither and fall – instead, she tried to save whole nations.

Her flaws would not diminish her efforts, as had his’ with his own. While she harbored both virtues and vices, they would not be the downfall of all she sought to protect and preserve.

“Thank you”, she said simply while moving closer, until he could almost feel her breath upon his cheeks. “It means a lot. Can you forgive me?”

“I already have. I do not agree with your decision, Siryn, but it does not lessen my respect for you.”

Her hands brushed over his ever so slightly, and he did not retreat. Small signs of affection escaped the notice of those living in Skyhold easily, and it was already common knowledge that Siryn and he were friends. It would not alert the gossipers so quickly.

“I’m not mad at you either”, she whispered.

 


End file.
